Friends or not? Honestly I don't think I can group all my friends into friends or not.



Recently I met up with my lower Secondary school friends. We pretty much stay the same as 6 yrs ago. Im serious! One of us got a couple of piercings (PS I cant stand tongue piercing! As in who in the right mind thinks it's cool or pretty? But MY FRIEND ACTUALLY GOT IT so... wow piercings are totally acceptable), some of us change our hairstyle, maybe we aged a little but we still look pretty much the same. Throughput the 6 years, we fall in and out of love, shit happened while we cont to strive our hardest, we all change for the better.

Let's talk about the ex!
Say what? Yeap the ex. The funny thing is in my entire clique each of us dated at least one other member in the clique. This is fked up? Haha it is pretty cool actually. Despite you know "you being my ex, me being your ex", we all get along. We like to joke about it and more often than not a topic starter! Like how Leo and Yx were kidding that they could patch up that day ( P.S they dated like a wk after we knew each other and it lasted for a week). Of course, we were young and crazy then, so some relationships were puppy love. I guess that's why we aren't that awkward when talking about it. Plus, most of us aint an asshole in course of the relationship(s) (no cheating) so we could all stay as friends.  Funnily most of the relationships were soooooooooooo DRAMATIC. I swear my first love could be a movie. My best friend's too. Theirs' too! I rmb lots of crying shyness teasing bitching blah blah blah. I rmb betting with my bf who's gonna get tgt and when relationships are gonna blow. Okay that's mean but I aint exactly the most romantic girl in the world back then.

My ex. Gathering:)).
Im glad my first love was beautiful. Beautiful because no cheating no shouting and no punching. Ya my definition of beautiful relationship is abit disappointing uh? It's beautiful becuz I've heard worst. And we are still friends. Not like "What's up bro? Let's go for movies" kind of friends but at least we are not awkward when we meet for gatherings and we would say hi if we happen to run into each other. Rmb how my clique like to joke around because of the clique's hilarious relationship spider web. MY BFF WAS A TOTAL BITCH THAT DAY. She used every second and every possible opportunity she had to set me and him up. She somehow made us side to side during photo taking. And when we parted( when he left) she tried to convince my other friend to support our patch up. She is sooooo outta her mind!!! And the thing is she didn't has a relationship in the clique so the whole time she was " Oooh what ya gonna do about it huh" You have no idea how much I wanted to strangle her then!

Quote of the day: If she is not a bitch, she is not your best friend.
 
But still:)
Me and him... we were one of the later ones so the whole thing was more serious then the rest. so yeah I don't know if I can joke about the whole patch up thing with him. Anyway, I have to admit I find him cute back at the gathering. I have a soft spot for pretty eyes so you cant possibly blame me for finding my ex cute can you? And it is not illegal!;) Damon would totally agree with me on this one. I have to confess that if we were not ex-es, I don't know him, haha I would woo him.
KIDDING Im conservative after all. After we gone home he texted my bff if Im home safely probably cuz I didn't reply him cuz my phone died. The thing is he ask my bff about me without asking her if she got home safely. I DIED!!XD HAHAHA So yeah he texted me too if I got home safely and I replied " Nope, I got raped and ship off to China". What cant a helpless pretty young girl joke about it?! >:) It was sweet that he still worry about me:).

See the thing about friends or not... He has been a stranger to a friend to more than friends to lovers to awkward friends to enemies to less than friends to me... If you ask me what he is to me now I can tell u he is a friend yet at the same time he fits in more than friends and less than friends category too. He is more than friends because despite losing contact over the years, the concern I have for him is more than others. Maybe if he needs me I'll go over. The thing about love is, the caring never goes away. I may not be in love with him anymore, I still care. And I think it goes both way. Whatever happens, he still knew me best just that he know me better now. And less than friends because breaking up means distancing. We have the tendency to avoid. It is just how things goes. He may used to be your best friend but breaking up means never going back there again. Staying just friends the best or you can say the limit.

Friends or not?

I have a friend ( let's name him as friend since like I say I cant say he is not). I sorta unfriend him because of things he said that I didn't thing is worthy of being my friend. Yet I cant tell u he is not because he is the only guy friend I ever have for more than 2 yrs and we spend Christmas alone tgt. He stood around long enough though we always fought. I think I blogged about him before. he is the only guy I go movies alone with. I cant blame him either because he is soooo blockhead. I bet he doesn't even know why I went to such extreme measure this time as to totally block and unfriend him on whatsapp. I even deleted his contact. I don't think we cant be friends again unless we pretend nth happened. We  or I cant because this happened too many times and Im tired of it. He is the longest text buddy I ever had (like weekly basis). Strangely, despite our long friendship I don't know what he likes. I mean I roughly know his hobbies, how his family are like, how often he gets nose bleeding... but I don't know what he likes or dislikes to eat. I don't think he knows what I like or dislike... what are my hobbies... my weakness... my troubles... A friend who don't know anything about me...

And recently I've been reading John green- The fault in our stars

I read half of the book on the day I got it and I didn't want to touch it after that. Not because the book sucks or anything. I know they are going to die and somehow reading on would means Im an accomplice in ending their hopes and love. This book is so different from all other cancer or death books I've read. The others prepared me for death. Like how Tuesday with Morris make death a peaceful and enlightening part of life. But the fault in the stars was so raw. I don't know I cant bring myself to face their fear knowing how real it is While reading I came across this quote


But what if those promises were forgotten. Im pretty sure I made many promises to ppl throughout my 18 yrs of lives. Love is keeping them anyway... But I cant rmb promises I've made. Even to my ex... sometimes I wonder if I let him down through broken promises. I cant remember any promises we made. I hope we didn't make any. Did I make any promises such as friends forever? Forever is a long time. I think I told Marcus before we will try to stay in contact as frequent as we can when we graduated because I know how life is. Bam the next thing you know we aint close anymore and he is just another friend. Love is keeping them anyway...

What's on your mind?


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